So I stumbled across this [http://russellkorets.com/2013/06/02/33-reasons-to-abstain-from-porn/] while wrestling with the British Airways STUPID WEBSITE trying to book Christmas tickets. I took a deep breath and decided to check twitter instead of hurling my laptop across the room.
One link led to another, and I came upon this.
It’s an article in which the author creates a list of 33 reasons to abstain from porn for himself which include things like:
For the glory of God. – 1 Corinthians 10:31
God is always watching me.
Angels and demons are often watching me.
It causes anxiety, paranoia, fear, irritability, anger, and depression.
Every female is someone’s daughter.
Every female is someone whom Christ loved enough to suffer and die for.
There are a lot of others in the list (27 others) but on the whole, it just seemed so glaringly “not enough” I had to respond. It just seemed so shaming, so guilt-inducing, and so vaguely sexist….
I left a long comment, but I’m not done talking about it —- there is something fundamentally wrong with this list – something missing that is really bugging me. And I am not quite sure exactly what it is.
My original comment contained the following:
“What about the – and I think this is really why it’s likely to be unholy – fact that it objectifies people to mere sexual objects – and that impact of meditating on that distortion of humanity can have on your mind and heart?
It doesn’t just objectify women, men are objectified too.
You may find it a more meaningful motivation to actively try to see humanity as God, our creator, sees us – as opposed to vaguely fighting sin with the goal of holiness.
I mean, props on fighting it anyway you can – but if you are working on material to help with this situation, I am just not sure if coming at it from a shame or negative response is the most healthy or helpful.
People who are interested in the products already feel shame, and are actively repenting – perhaps what they need more of is help laying out a healthier mindset about what is going on.
If you shouldn’t view porn because it is wrong – what is right?
I don’t think many people applying anti-porn filter software need to know more about why it is wrong, or how it can negatively impact their lives, or the lives of those around them.
I guess I am just frustrated that I only seem to see people being guilted and shamed out of something that like 90% of us see or use with varying frequency.
Surely we can now move on to see that we need to do more than just quit. It’s not enough. The mindset that allows porn to be compelling itself surely must change.
Maybe shame and guilt has to be the first step?
But wouldn’t the more powerful way be to see all life, as best we can, for what it is, and what it should be?
Seeing all people, in whatever area of life we are struggling, as real people – instead of as objects – or a uniform for all that matter.
Isn’t that the real idea behind loving your neighbor as yourself? You can’t do that until you see them as equal, and try to understand them – and it is presumably (this is yet untested) difficult to become aroused at the idea of a loved one preforming derogatory sexual acts.
I haven’t thought about this much before I read your list and…
…. this is too long of a comment – but it has me inspired to blog.”
So let us continue in this thought —
someone please comment to tell me when and if Jesus ever addressed a problem with the heart, or how someone was dealing with humanity like this —– I am guessing he may have at some point? But it just doesn’t seem to me that his go-to tool for helpingus deal with sin was shame or guilt – but I need to really think about it.
Okay… so what example can I think of when Jesus some someone sin and confronted them about it – specifically on their view of humanity, or mis-treating other people….(sunday school memories, don’t fail me now!)
Well the story of the people trading at the temple, might be an example? If an argument could be made for the traders treating their customers as less-than people by extorting money out of them for their sacrifices…. but that doesn’t seem strong enough.
What about the people wanting to stone the woman caught in adultery? That seems like a good one!
Okay, so the story goes that when Jesus was in town in an afternoon-ish sort of setting I imagine (as people were all out and about) some professionally holy people just “happen” to find a woman “in the act” of committing adultery and they drag her before Jesus, presumably wanting him to condemn her and affirm their right to violently kill her publicly for this crime.
Ha! And the irony of remembering this story is that Jesus sits and writes something in the sand which none of us will ever know — and then directs people to look at her as they do themselves “Which of you has not sinned? Let him cast the first stone”
A genius response – wouldn’t expect anything less.
I am not going to sit here and pretend like I can pull apart that incredible scene to be able to tell you exactly how Christ would have us respond to sexual deprivation, peeping toms, or self-righteous snobs — but I do think it is key that he doesn’t say anything about the sin brought before him – but rather addresses the true sin – the ultimate sin – degrading his creation to anything less than the beautiful soul he corrected. They had no love for their neighbor; it is easily concluded that this woman was set-up in some form or fashion. They were condemning too.
And Jesus didn’t shame them for presumably watching this woman engage in a sexual act – but for objectifying her in a way the man she was with was not.
Okay so I’m off subject and out of my depth – but tell me your thoughts.
Is there something we are missing when we address the issue of pornography????
It feels like it to me.